The Danger of Being "The Only One."

PSA: active endurance must include community safety

There’s a conversation happening right now that we cannot ignore — not as a wellness collective, not as the Black community, and not as people committed to awareness.

I'm sure you're up to date, but if you're not, a young Black man named Nolan "Nono" Wells was found deceased after hanging out with a group of all white friends, prior to being reported as missing over the holiday weekend.

You can see the patterns, can't you?

There is real fear, vigilance, and vulnerability in being the only Black person in a white space, because too many stories like this have taught us to be on guard.

In this society, we're taught to "blend in," "be easy," & not raise hell.

But... when has blending in protected any of us?

When has being 'the only one,' kept us safe?

& When has our silence ever afforded us a right to live?

My love & energy goes out to Nolan's family and loved ones because he was not just another Black man, he was a son, a brother, an uncle, a student, a friend, and so much more to so many others.

Of course this is another wellness issue

Whether foul play in Nolan's case is confirmed or not, the emotional truth remains:

Our safety is never guaranteed in spaces where we are outnumbered, unheard, or unprotected.

& that is a wellness issue.

A proximity to Whiteness will never be a wellness strategy.

It does not regulate our nervous systems, guarantee our safety, or protect our humanity.

In the last Rejooovism...

We discussed the difference between passive waiting and active endurance. I believe that right now is the perfect time to exercise this difference, because this is where active endurance becomes community protection.

Nothing about a wellness practice of active endurance is abstract,

We see it when we:

• Teach our kids what being "the only one" really means,

  • Not out of fear — but for awareness, preparation, and protecting the futures we love.

• Build Black spaces where we don't have to shrink or scan for danger,

  • By removing the ideology that only certain types of Black people belong amongst Black people which pushes those who don't fit into a box into less safe spaces.

• Refuse to normalize isolation and welcome those who look like us into our community spaces, &

  • Offering refuge and true connection regardless of upbringing or moral standards.

• Show up for families like Nolan's who deserve answers, transparency, and justice.

  • His family has already retained civil rights attorney Ben Crump to demand clarity.

Passive waiting would tell us to “let the investigation play out.” Active endurance says: Pay attention. Speak up. Protect one other.

What I Want the Rejooov Collective to Sit With:

If you can understand that isolation is not a natural state for us...

How do we build community structures that make isolation unnecessary?

Share your thoughts below.

Love & Light,

-Cina